


Just For Today

by Tayla36



Series: Finding Love [3]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 16:09:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayla36/pseuds/Tayla36
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Greg tries to begin a romance and gets an unpleasant surprise. Gil comes to his rescue, but can't give him everything he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just For Today

**Author's Note:**

> Episode Related : S2Epi3 Overload  
> Written and originally posted, I don't know, sometime in 2001 or 2002

  
  
  
  
  
It was a slow night at the CSI lab.   
  
Greg Sanders had nothing to do. No blood tests to run. No unknown substances, no hair or fiber analysis. He had cleaned all the equipment and disinfected all the counter tops. He should have been bored. But he wasn't. He sat behind his counter and stared across the hall at one of his coworkers who was sitting in the evidence room going over some cold case files. And that person held his full attention. So much so that he didn't hear Grissom come up behind him.   
  
Gil paused for a moment to see what had captured Greg's attention. He smiled when he saw whom the young chemist was staring at.  
  
"So, is Nick your next target?"  
  
Greg nearly fell off his stool. "Jesus, boss. You almost gave me a heart attack!"  
  
"Oh, I think your heart was beating fast before I said anything." Gil nodded his head in Nick's direction. "Don't you have any work to do? I'm not paying you to sit around all night and drool over your coworkers."  
  
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't have any work to do. So I thought I would sit here and indulge my fantasies."  
  
Gil looked quizzically at Greg. "Why is it still a fantasy? You weren't nearly so shy that night you came after me."  
  
Greg sighed. "You know Nick has a reputation as a lady's man. I have no idea if he would be up for anything with me."  
  
"You didn't know with me, either." Gil responded.  
  
"Well, I thought you were more likely to be open minded about it. Nick's likely to go all homophobic on me and pull his gun."  
  
"Yes, but that's the rush. That little hint of danger. Doesn't that get your blood pumping?" Gil moved closer to Greg. He dropped his voice to a low murmur "Isn't that what makes your dick hard? The uncertainty of the response? Not knowing whether he's going to kiss you or kick you? You're a man that likes to take chances, Greg. You didn't have to hit on me. Or Nick. Las Vegas has a thriving gay community where you could find a lover. But you have to take the chance. You like seducing supposedly straight men. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and validation. To know that you're so sexy you can turn a straight man gay. You love it. You know you do."  
  
Greg was trembling as he listened to Gil dissect his personality in a few short sentences. Gil had nailed it dead on. He loved straight men! He loved the initial look of shock on their faces when they realized he wasn't joking, that he really was hitting on them. It was even better when it was someone he knew fairly well who didn't realize he was gay. He usually tried to be discreet, but lately he had found himself becoming extremely attracted to the men that he worked with every night.   
  
Gil had been first. Greg had run into him at a bar on a night off. Gil was knocking back shots pretty good when Greg spotted him. He must have been there for a while because he didn't protest too much when Greg offered to drive him home. And he didn't protest again when Greg helped him out of his clothes. And he didn't protest when Greg stripped and got in the bed with him. That had been some night!   
  
But it had only been one night. Greg had regrets about that. Regrets that the man had been drunk when they had slept together. And the next day Gil was polite but distant. He didn't actually come out and say that he was sorry it had happened, but he seemed uncomfortable around Greg for a few weeks. Then their relationship had gone back to normal, almost as if Grissom had forgotten it had even happened. And Greg had focused his attention elsewhere.   
  
He had tried hitting on Warrick. He had looked at Greg as if he were crazy, then politely turned him down.   
  
There were a couple of possibilities from the day shift, but Greg wasn't sure he wanted to get involved with anyone who worked that closely with Ecklie.  
  
Now he looked across the hall at Nick who was still going through the case files, oblivious to Greg and Gil watching him. He was standing now, kind of bent over the table with the case files spread out in front of him.   
  
"So, are you going for it or not?" Gil asked him.  
  
"I don't know, Gil. I don't think my fragile ego could take the rejection."  
  
"Fragile ego my ass! Tell you what." Gil put his hand on Greg's shoulder and leaned in closer. Greg could feel Gil's warm breath stirring the hair on the side of his neck. "You go talk to Nick. Feel him out. Take the chance and see what happens. If Nick shoots you down, you can come home with me."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Gil slid his hand up and stroked the sensitive skin below Greg's ear and whispered, "Yes, really."  
  
Greg gazed at Gil for a few moments. Then he grinned and got up and went across the hall. Gil wanted to play? Okay he could play. He would go over, hit on Nick, Nick would say no, just like Warrick had. And then he could go home with Gil. Good plan.   
  
*****************************  
  
  
"Hey, Nick. Whatcha doin'?"  
  
Well, what does it look like I'm doing Greg? I'm going over old case files."  
  
"Oh. Anything I can help with?"  
  
"No thanks, Greg, I can handle it."  
  
Greg came over and stood behind Nick. "Okay. I'll just stand here and bother you while you work."  
  
Nick glared over his shoulder at the lab tech. "Don't you have any work to do?"  
  
"You know, you're the second person tonight to ask me that." Greg was standing close enough to feel the heat coming off of Nick's body. He breathed deeply and Nick's scent filled his nostrils, soap and shampoo and aftershave and something that was uniquely Nick. He knew that he was well into Nick's personal space and he wondered if the other man was getting nervous  
  
As if Nick heard his thought he looked up at Greg and noticed how close he was standing. A brief puzzled frown crossed his handsome face and he eased a half step away from Greg. "I'm trying to get something done here, Greg. Go away and let me work."  
  
Greg took a half step closer to Nick "No, you're trying to look busy so Grissom doesn't find some real work for you to do."   
  
Nick felt a flush come to his face as Greg closed the distance between them. He reached down to the tabletop and began gathering the files together. Greg saw that Nick's hands were shaking.  
  
"What's the matter Nick," he asked in a low voice. "Do I make you nervous?"  
  
Nick glanced up and saw the predatory grin on Greg's face. He had heard some rumors around the department about Greg and his preferences. Just the other day he had heard a rumor about Warrick and Greg. He didn't put much stock in it. He had even heard a ghost of a rumor about Greg and Grissom. That one was especially hard to believe, although it might explain why Grissom had not had a date with a woman in a year.   
  
And now, here was Greg, right up in his face. Nick felt himself begin to sweat and his hands were clammy.   
  
"Nick, I know you've heard rumors about me"  
  
"Rumors? What rumors? I haven't heard anything."  
  
"You're not a very good liar, Nick."  
  
Nick's heart began to race and his stomach flipped. "Look, Greg, whatever you're into, that's you're business. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I'm not interested."  
  
"Have you ever tried it?" Greg asked him.   
  
Nick felt a tightness in his chest; he was having difficulty breathing.  
  
"Greg, just leave me alone and let me get back to work."  
  
Greg placed a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Well if you ever get the urge to try it, let me know. I'd be happy to help."  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
Gil watched the young man go across the hall and enter the room where Nick was working. He busied himself in the lab area so that he could see how the scene unfolded. He felt like a voyeur. He didn't know exactly what was going on in his head tonight. He had avoided any personal contact with Greg since that night they had spent together and kept their relationship strictly professional. He had finally gotten to a point where he could get a lab report from the young man without feeling the butterflies in his stomach or the stirring in his groin. He had shoved his emotions down deep and buried them again.  
  
Now he had undone all that hard work. He had seen Greg looking at Nicky with that certain look in his eye and he had felt all those emotions coming to the surface again.   
  
Grissom had felt drawn to the younger man since he had started with the department two years ago. It was immediately apparent that Greg was eccentric. He was loud and often annoying. What was not apparent to anyone else was that he was also quite brilliant. He had a master's degree in biochemistry from Stanford and he could probably disassemble and reassemble every piece of equipment in the lab. Gil admired his intelligence and his dedication to science. It was his smart-ass attitude that often got him into trouble. When Brass had still been in control of the unit, Gil had run interference and saved the younger man's job many times.   
  
Gil also thought that Greg was an attractive guy, but he had never done anything about it. He had enough trouble with relationships without trying to have a gay one. He had learned how to bury his feelings long ago and his homosexual tendencies were buried even deeper. He had only one gay relationship in his life and that had been twenty five years ago in college. He wasn't sure what to do with his feelings for Greg. When he had seen him looking at Nick, he had felt jealousy and arousal. He wanted to grab Greg, pin him against the wall and show him that he didn't need Nick. But he hadn't wanted to seem so anxious, didn't want to be seen as a pitiful desperate old man.   
  
He really didn't think that Nick would have any kind of interest in Greg. He would rebuff Greg's advances, and then he could swoop in and rescue the young man. And it would seem like a casual gesture, not a pathetic yearning.  
  
So he watched as Greg put the moves on Nick. It was actually kind of amusing. Nick was a dyed in the wool ladies man. He had never given any indication that he had any homosexual tendencies at all. Then again neither did Gil. But in Gil's case it was more a matter of non-use of his feelings, whereas Nick, he suspected, just didn't have them.   
  
All these thoughts went through his head as he watched Greg sidling up to Nick. He was stunned when he saw Nick suddenly erupt out of the chair and shove Greg away from him violently. And then he saw Nick put his hand on his gun...  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
Greg had hit his head on the side of the table. He sat on the floor momentarily disoriented. He looked up and saw Nick towering over him, his expression curiously blank. "Hey, man, what's the idea..."   
  
Greg's voice trailed off as he realized that Nick's hand was hovering around the butt of the pistol on his hip "Nick, buddy, take it easy. It was just a question." Nick didn't seem to hear Greg. His eyes were distant, unfocused and his hand twitched closer to the gun. Greg felt his heart rate double and was sure that Nick was about to shoot him in the face.  
  
And then Gil was there.  
  
When Grissom saw Nicky go for his gun, he dashed across the hall into the evidence room. "Nick, calm down. This isn't the way to handle this. Nick? Nick are you hearing me?" Grissom could see that Nick was unfocused. He wasn't sure where Nick's mind was but clearly it wasn't on the present.   
  
Greg chose that moment to stand up and Nick's gun hand twitched again. Gil instinctively placed himself between Greg and the gun trying to protect the younger man. Although at this range, if Nick decided to fire, the bullet would probably kill them both.   
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
Catherine walked down the hallway looking for Grissom. She had been cleaning up a few details on the case she was working on and she wanted to discuss her findings with him. The hallways seemed oddly deserted. She passed the trace lab and Sanders wasn't even playing his annoying music. In fact he wasn't there at all. Where was everyone?  
  
She turned around and saw the frozen tableau in the evidence room. Nick looking wild eyed with his hand on his gun, Sanders looking scared out of his mind and Gil standing between them. What the hell was going on?  
  
She cautiously made her way into the room by the far door and came up behind Nick. "Nick," she said softly. "What's going on?"  
  
As Nick spun to face her, Grissom let the anger inside him explode. He grabbed Nicks gun hand and slammed him up against the wall. Catherine grabbed his other hand and added her weight to Grissom's as they overpowered the younger man. Gil removed Nick's holster from his belt.  
  
"Greg, go to my office." Grissom said without taking his eyes off Nick.  
  
"But, Grissom..."  
  
"Go. Now. I'll be there in a few minutes." He saw, with his peripheral vision, that Greg had followed his instructions and was practically running down the hallway to his office.  
  
Catherine was talking to Nick and he seemed to have calmed down considerably. He seemed deflated and disoriented.  
  
"You want to tell me why you were about to shoot your boss and coworker?" Catherine asked the shaken man.  
  
"I...um...well Greg...he um..." Nick voice trailed off uncertainly.   
  
"Greg hit on him." Grissom supplied the answer.  
  
Catherine's eyebrows climbed up under her bangs. She turned back to Nick. "Greg hit on you, so you were gonna shoot him?" She asked incredulously.  
  
"I don't know what happened. It was so strange. I just kind of freaked. I couldn't stop myself. I felt like I had to keep him away from me." Nick looked puzzled at his own actions. Catherine saw the fear in his eyes as he realized what he had almost done. He looked at Catherine pleadingly, as if she could explain why he had suddenly taken leave of his senses. Grissom saw that look and his anger evaporated. He sensed that Nick was dealing with something more than just a little homophobia. He also thought that Nick might open up to Catherine if he weren't in the room. He handed Nick's gun to Catherine. "I'm going to go see how Greg is doing. You'll take care of Nick?" She nodded her assent. As Grissom left the room she turned her attention back to the broken man in front of her.   
  
"Do you want to tell me about it? What really just happened here?'  
  
"Cath, I don't know. I don't think you really want to hear it."  
  
"If its bothering you so much that you're trying to murder your coworkers, then damn straight I want to hear it."  
  
Nick closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He kept his eyes closed as he began to speak. "What I told you...about the babysitter..." he trailed off. Catherine waited silently as Nick found the courage to continue. "It wasn't just her. It was her boyfriend, too."  
  
"Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry."   
  
"When Greg hit on me, and asked me if I had ever been with another man...well it just brought it all back again. And I just...snapped. On some level I guess I knew that Greg wasn't trying to hurt me. I mean, how could he. He's just a skinny, scrawny kid." Nick's breath caught in his throat and his eyes filled up. "I almost shot him Catherine, him and Gris. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come in just then."  
  
"You wouldn't have shot them, Nick. You hadn't even drawn your gun."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure about that, Catherine"   
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
"Greg?" Gil opened the door to his office. Greg was sitting on the sofa, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Gils heart went out to him. He looked like a lost child. Gil could tell from where he stood that the younger man was shaking.  
  
Greg looked up as Gil entered the room. He gave him a wry smile. "You know, I was just kidding when I said that Nick would go homophobic and pull his gun." He gave a short bark of laughter that broke off suddenly as the breath caught in his throat. Gil closed the door and was across the room in a flash. He sat next to Greg and pulled the young man into his arms as his body began to shake with sobs. Gil held him until his shaking subsided, then sat back and handed him a handkerchief.   
  
"Man, I thought I was dead there for a moment. What the hell happened? I've been in situations where I've almost been bashed before, but I didn't expect it from Nick, and I certainly didn't expect him to go for his gun."  
  
"I don't know, Greg. There's something going on in his head. Catherine is talking to him." Now that the danger was over, Gil seemed withdrawn. "Why don't you go on home now? We'll talk more tomorrow."  
  
"I don't think I can drive right now."  
  
Grissom sighed. "Okay, give me a few minutes. I'll drive you home."  
  
  
*****************************  
  
  
Gil went to check on Nick and Catherine. They were still in the evidence room. He stuck his head in the door and they both turned to look at him. "Are you okay, Nick?"   
  
"Yeah, Gris, I'm fine now."  
  
Grissom took in the other man's red rimmed eyes and generally defeated demeanor and said, "Why don't I believe that?"  
  
"I'm sorry Gris, I don't know what came over me."  
  
"Well, we have to find out. You can't go around trying to shoot your coworkers."  
  
Nicks face looked pained. "Is Greg alright?"  
  
"He's a little shaken. I'm going to drive him home."  
  
"Gris, I promise this won't happen again."  
  
"Catherine..." Grissom began.  
  
"I've got this. Why don't you go ahead and get Greg home now. We'll talk more tonight."  
  
Gil nodded and left the room. Catherine turned back to Nick. "I can be sympathetic, Nick, but I don't now how to help you. I think its time you get some professional help with this."  
  
"You mean a shrink?"  
  
"The department has a psychologist. Dr. Kane is a good guy."  
  
Nicks eyes were downcast. He didn't want to see a shrink, but this problem was starting to affect his judgement. He was taking it out on suspects and now he was taking it out on his coworkers. "Okay, Cath, I'll make an appointment."  
  
"Good. He should be in his office in a couple of hours."  
  
"You want me to talk to him today?"  
  
"The sooner the better, Nick. You're right on the edge. You need to start dealing with this now. Why don't we go out and get something to eat? Then we'll go see Dr. Kane."  
  
"Okay, Cath. I appreciate your help.  
  
  
*****************************

  
Grissom pulled up in front of Greg's apartment building. During the ride over, he had been silent and tense. Greg stared moodily out the window. How could things have gone so wrong? Something that had started as a harmless diversion had almost ended with him and Gil getting shot. And now, Gil wasn't talking. Earlier, he had been talkative, teasing. Almost jovial. Now he was reserved and withdrawn.   
  
"Do you want to come in? I can probably throw something together for breakfast."  
  
"Greg, I don't think..."  
  
Greg interrupted him. "Please. I think we should talk."  
  
Gil stared out the window for a moment. Greg thought that he was going to refuse again. Then he opened the car door and got out. Greg leaped out of the car also and led the way up the walk to the front door of the building.   
  
Greg had a small one-bedroom apartment, cluttered but clean. Gil looked around the living room, automatically taking in details as he did whenever he walked into any room. The only seating was a leather sofa that reminded Gil of his own, only bigger. In fact, the whole room reminded him of his own place. There was a computer desk in front of the window and the bookshelves were crammed full with a mixture of academic texts, scientific journals and fiction. There were more books in neat stacks on the floor, and the coffee table was covered with magazines, mostly of a scientific nature, although Gil thought he saw a Playboy peaking out from under the Scientific American. The entertainment center was overflowing with compact disks, dvd's and vhs tapes.   
  
Greg was headed into the small kitchen. "Have a seat, I'll make us some coffee."  
  
Instead of sitting, Gil stood in the doorway watching Greg move around the kitchen. He set the carafe in the sink to fill and he opened the freezer to get the beans out. He felt Gils eyes on him and looked over his shoulder at the older man.   
  
"You keep your coffee in the freezer?" Gil asked him.   
  
"It stays fresher that way." Greg held up the bag. "This is a Hawaiian blend. It's grown on one of the small islands. Hand picked. Its good stuff."  
  
Gil just nodded as Greg continued to make the coffee. There was no denying the attraction he felt for the younger man. He watched him move around his kitchen. He had a certain grace and flair to his movements. But he was so young!   
  
Gil questioned his motives for being there. He had told himself that he just wanted to make sure Greg got home all right. But if that was the case he could have just dropped him off. He didn't have to come up to the apartment. Then he told himself that he wanted to make sure Greg was all right emotionally, although if he wasn't Gil didn't know what he would do about it. Talking about emotional issues wasn't his strong point. He couldn't kid himself any more. He wanted to be there because he was attracted to Greg. Physically attracted. He thought back to the night they had spent together. Much of it was hazy, because of his intoxicated state. But he remembered enough to know that on some level, he wanted to repeat the experience. Without the alcohol this time.   
  
But he was afraid. He was never good at relationships. And this one could be quite painful.   
  
He was sure that Greg's interest in him was temporary. If he got involved, the young man would soon get bored with him and move on. He didn't want to go through that kind of pain.   
  
Then there was a possibility that Greg wasn't just filling time. That he was as attracted to Gil as Gil was to him and that he wanted more than just a fling. He had spent the past two decades avoiding that kind of personal relationship and here he was contemplating getting involved in one that was not only painful but professionally unsound.   
  
Greg had been chattering on while Gil had been lost in his own thoughts. Greg trailed off now when he realized that Gil had not responded at all. He turned and looked at Gil. Gil was leaning against the doorframe, just staring at Greg with a sadness in his eyes.  
  
"Greg, I appreciate the offer of coffee and breakfast, but I think I'm just going to go home. It's been a long night and we both need rest."   
  
"You can't go. I want you to stay. I hate to sound petulant, but you did say that if Nick turned me down I could be with you. You can't get turned down more dramatically than almost being shot.  
  
"That's the point Greg. We almost got shot. Cheating death sometimes makes a person do reckless things. I don't want us to do this for the wrong reasons."  
  
"Well you won't do it for the right reasons because you don't let anyone get close enough to really know you."  
  
"This is wrong, Greg. I lost track of my objectivity."  
  
"You can't be objective about passion, Gil. It's not a science experiment. It's real life."  
  
"Real life. You think this is real life? You're having a fantasy here, how real is that? I'm almost twenty years older than you are, and I'm your boss. Like it or not I have a job with responsibilities. I lost track of that tonight. I was playing games. I let my...lust dictate my actions. I encouraged you to basically sexually harass another employee, and it almost got you killed."  
  
"You almost got killed too," Greg replied.  
  
"Yes exactly. And what about Nick? We almost ruined three lives tonight. I'm sorry, but I can't let this continue." He turned to leave.   
  
Greg crossed the kitchen and followed Gil toward the front door of the apartment. He put his hand on Gil's shoulder and tried to turn him around.  
  
"Can't you give me just one night?"  
  
Gil didn't turn around. "We already had our one night Greg. And besides, it's daytime."  
  
"Semantics." Greg let his hand drop from Gils shoulder and slipped both arms around Gil's waist. "Just one day then. Just for today, forget that you're the boss. Forget that you've been hurt before. Just let go and give in to the passion. You never do that. You always hold your emotions in check. That's not good for you Gil. It's gonna make you crazy. Please, just give me today."  
  
Gil turned within the circle of Greg's arms. He reached out a hand and stroked Greg's cheek. Greg leaned into it and kissed his palm. Gil drew in a deep breath and looked into the young man's earnest face. "You know, sometimes I just feel so old."  
  
"Then let me make you feel young again." Gil's heart began to beat faster as Greg leaned in to kiss him. He closed his eyes as he felt Greg's lips press onto his. This was their first kiss. The other night that they had spent together had not been like this. They both had been drinking, Gil quite a lot. It had been about lust and raw sex, not romance. This was different. He was in full control of his faculties. Or at least he had been until Greg kissed him. He felt Greg lean harder into the kiss and he parted his lips slightly. Gil shuddered as Greg tentatively slipped his tongue into his mouth. He opened his mouth wider and let his tongue caress Greg's. Then, Gil took control of the kiss. He placed both hands on either side of Greg's head and held him as he thrust his tongue into Greg's mouth. He felt, more than heard, Greg's moan and the young man began to grind his hips into Gils. Gil felt the last of his reservations dissolve as he felt the contact between their two bodies.   
  
Gil broke the kiss so he could get some air. His heart was threatening to break out of his chest. He chuckled softly.   
  
"What's funny?" Greg asked him.  
  
"I just had this image of me having a heart attack right here in the throes of passion and Eckley investigating my death."  
  
"Jeez, Gil, don't even joke about that. But it is good to hear you laugh. You don't do that often enough." Greg's grin faded a little and he gave Gil a serious look. "So, are you staying?"  
  
Gil closed his eyes and swallowed once. He opened his eyes to find Greg still looking at him. "Just one day, Greg. "  
  
"Just for today," Greg agreed.  
  
Greg slipped from Gil's embrace and took his hand. He led Gil down the short hallway towards the bedroom door.  
  
Before Greg could open it, Gil spun him around and pinned him up against the door. He kissed Greg, hard, thrusting his tongue deep into Greg's mouth grinding into him. Greg let out a low moan. When Gil broke the kiss Greg opened his eyes to see the mischievous grin on Gil's face. "I've always wanted to do that."   
  
"You did it really well." Greg chuckled and then almost fell on his ass as Gil opened the door that they had been leaning against. A king-sized bed dominated the small room. It was a four poster, solid oak, and had a navy blue comforter spread on it. There was just enough space in the room for the matching dresser and nightstand.  
  
"Man Greg, do you think the bed is big enough?" Gil asked him sarcastically  
  
"I like to have lots of room. I can get a bit ...athletic."  
  
"Well take it easy on me, will you? I'm not as young as I used to be."  
  
Greg got that serious look on his face again. "You are not old, Gil" Greg unbuttoned the top button on Gil's shirt, then he kissed the hollow of his throat. "I think you're handsome." He popped open another button. "And sexy." Another button. "And you smell good." Another button. "And you taste good." Greg punctuated each statement by kissing the skin that he was uncovering. Gil felt each kiss like a burning brand on his flesh. His breath was coming in short gasps and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Greg unbuttoned the last button and pulled Gil's shirt out of his waistband. He pushed the shirt off Gil's shoulders and let it fall to the floor.  
  
Greg leaned in and sucked one of Gil's stiff nipples into his mouth. Gil moaned and began to unbutton Greg's shirt but he didn't have the patience of the younger man. He gripped Greg's shirt collar in both hands and tore the shirt open, sending buttons flying around the room. Greg gasped as Gil's arms encircled his waist and Gil crushed the younger man to him so that their bare chests were in contact. He devoured Greg's mouth in a savage kiss. Greg reveled in the contact for a few moments, then he broke away and fell to his knees in front of Gil. He reached up and swiftly unbuckled Gil's belt, undid the button, and pulled down the zipper. Gil's pants fell in a black puddle around his feet. Greg slid his hand into the waistband of Gil's boxer shorts and was about to pull them down when he suddenly laughed.  
  
"Greg, it's not very polite to laugh at a man when you've got your face in his crotch."  
  
Greg continued to chuckle. "Sorry. I'm certainly not laughing at you. I thought they were red polka dots 'til I looked closer."  
  
"No. Ladybugs. Catherine's idea of a joke. Glad you find them so amusing. Why don't you continue what you started there."  
  
Greg pulled Gils shorts down to his ankles and stared in awe at the hard cock awaiting his touch.   
  
Gil saw Greg's mesmerized stare. "What? You've seen it before Greg."  
  
"Not really. It was dark. I didn't get a good look at you before."  
  
"So?" Gil asked, a little self-consciously.  
  
Greg looked up into those brilliant blue eyes. "You're beautiful."  
  
Gil gasped as Greg drew his hard cock into his warm wet mouth. He wrapped one hand around the back of Greg's neck and pushed himself in deeper. "Oh God, Greg...feels so good...Greg..." Greg continued to bob his head up and down on Gils hardness.  
  
Suddenly Gil reached down and drew Greg up by his armpits. He practically threw the young man back onto the bed. He took a few moments to remove the pants and shorts that were bunched around his ankles and he took off his shoes and socks. Greg had been right. The first time they had been together it had been way too dark. He hadn't gotten a good look either. Now he drank in the sight of Greg lying stretched out before him on the bed. He was slender and pale with dark freckles sprinkled here and there on his neck and torso. There was a patch of fine dark hairs between the pale pink nipples that stretched into a line that led down past his navel and disappeared into his pants. Gil removed Greg's shoes and socks. He grabbed a hold the cuffs of his jeans. He stared down at Greg. "Unbutton your pants." He whispered.  
  
Greg grinned at his lover. He ran his hands down his naked chest teasing his nipples on the way down. He slowly brought his hands to the button of his jeans as Gil waited impatiently. He popped the button and slowly ran the zipper down. Then he had to lift his hips as Gil quickly yanked the jeans off his body. He wasn't wearing anything else. Gil groaned in surprise as Greg's hard cock came into view. Gil crawled up onto the bed. He dipped his head and touched his tongue to a bony ankle. He dragged his tongue upward, tasting and teasing one leg, as his hand traced the other. He worked his knee between Greg's legs as he continued his journey. Hand and mouth lingered a moment at the sensitive skin of Greg's inner thighs. Greg threw his head back and moaned as the sensations raced through his body.   
  
Gil paused for a moment and looked up at his young lover. His head was thrown back, eyes closed and his hands were clenched into the fabric of the bedspread. "Gil...don't stop...please..."  
  
Gil kissed his thigh again. "Please what? What do you want?"  
  
"Please...don't tease me."  
  
Gil was so close now. Greg could feel his warm breath wafting across him "Tell me."  
  
"Oh, God...Gil...please suck me. Take it in...aahhh"  
  
Greg's word trailed off into a moan as Gil sank his mouth down to the base of Greg's cock. He slowly drew his head back until his lips jus circled the tip. His tongue lashed out and tasted the fluid that had gathered there. He brought one hand up to cradle Greg's balls as the other hand encircled the base. He started stroking on the shaft as he sucked on the first few inches. He felt Greg fingers clutching at his hair, trying to guide him into a faster rhythm. He let Greg take control, eagerly taking the shaft deeper into his throat as Greg bucked his hips. The younger man's breath was coming in short fast gasps as he neared completion. Gil was taking the whole shaft with each stroke now. His hands were now underneath Greg, clutching his ass. Greg was crying out, lost in the pleasure that Gil was giving him. He was right on the edge. Gil eased one finger into Greg, pushing him over. He swallowed as Greg exploded in his mouth, then held the softening cock in his mouth, gently sucking, as Greg came down from his climax.   
  
Gil crawled up the bed and settled next to Greg, who was still panting and his eyes were closed. His own need was great, but Greg was still zoned out. He propped his head up on one hand and looked down at the young man. He laid his hand on Greg's chest, then his sensitive fingertips traced a hard nipple. He continued upwards and stroked Greg's throat, his cheek; he ran his index finger across Greg's lower lip. Greg parted his lips and flicked his tongue out. He drew Gil's fingertip into his mouth and bit gently, then he opened his eyes just as Gil leaned in for a kiss. It started off slow and gentle, but as Greg began to respond Gil deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue in to play with Greg's.   
  
Greg suddenly flipped them over until he was lying on top. He ran his lips along the line of Gil's jaw, ending up at his ear. He nibbled on Gil's earlobe. "It's your turn," he whispered into Gil's ear, and Gil gasped as Greg kissed his way down his body. He lingered for a moment, teasing his tongue into Gil's navel before he continued on to his cock. He licked the head. Gil groaned and tried to force himself up into Greg's mouth, but Greg pulled back. "Patience, lover. Don't rush me."  
  
Greg wrapped one hand around the base of Gil's cock and dipped his head down to tongue his balls. Then he dragged his tongue up the underside of Gil's cock until he reached the head again. He savored the taste of the clear fluid leaking from the tip, and then he plunged his open mouth down on the shaft. Gil reached for him, moaning incoherently. When Gil tried to guide his head into a faster rhythm, Greg again pulled off of him. The younger man crawled up the bed. He straddled Gil and lowered himself until they were lying face to face.   
  
Gil gazed up into the dark brown eyes. "Why did you stop?"  
  
Greg shifted his hips to grind his reawakened cock on Gils abdomen. He could feel Gils stiff cock pressed into the cleft of his ass. He closed his eyes and said softly, "I want you inside me."  
  
Gil reached around and cupped Greg's ass. He pulled the younger man more firmly into him. Greg groaned as his cock stiffened even more between their bodies. "Are you sure?" Gil asked him.  
  
Greg rolled off Gil's chest and reached into the nightstand drawer for the tube of lubricant and a condom. He handed them to Gil and then stretched out on the bed on his belly. He spread his thighs, offering himself. Gil trembled as he looked at Greg lying there waiting. He hovered over Greg's prone form, then leaned down and caressed Greg's neck with his lips. One hand stroked down the younger man's side as his lips burned a trail of kisses down his spine. When he reached his lower back, Gil shifted his position, kneeling between Greg's legs. His hands separated Greg's cheeks and ran a fingertip along the valley between them. Greg groaned at the contact. Gil opened the lubricant and coated his fingers. He gently eased one into Greg. As Greg seemed to take one easily he added a second, stretching the little ring of muscle. Greg thrust back onto Gil's fingers, moaning at the new sensations flooding his body. Then, Gil removed his fingers. He unrolled the condom onto his cock and then ran the head up and down Greg's ass. At each contact with his opening, Greg moaned in anticipation of Gil taking him there, finally. Gil pressed the tip against Greg's waiting asshole. Greg looked back over his shoulder at Gil. "You've done this before?"  
  
Gil smiled. "Sorry to burst your bubble about seducing straight men. It's been a while, but yes, I have done this before."  
  
Greg smiled back, then got that serious look on his face again. "I haven't."  
  
Gil was puzzled. "But I thought...I mean I just assumed..."  
  
"Oh, I've been with a few guys before. But just oral. Like you and I did that first night. Never this."  
  
Gil was stunned when he realized just what it was that Greg was offering him. This was the most intimate contact that two men could have. He was suddenly nervous. He remembered from his own youth the emotional intensity of the first time. He still remembered every moment, every detail. He also remembered the bond that had formed between him and his first lover. And the pain when that relationship had broken down. He realized the enormous amount of trust that Greg must have in him to allow him this liberty with his body. He wasn't sure he could continue.  
  
Greg watched the emotions play over Gils face. "Please, Gil, I want you to be the first." Actually, deep in his heart, Greg knew that he wanted Gil to be the only one. He had never felt this before. Not with a woman and not with any other man he had ever been with. He realized the moment that he decided to offer his virginity to Gil that he was in love with him. He had known this intense, quiet man for almost three years now. This man who had saved his job many times. This man who put up with his eccentricities and raucous behavior, who believed in his abilities as a scientist and trusted him with every bit of DNA evidence that came into the lab.   
  
He was in love, and he was sure that Gil did not feel the same. Gil had agreed to give him one day. And if one day was all that he could have, he was going to make the most of it.   
  
"Please Gil." Still, Gil hesitated. Greg could feel the hard cock still poised at his entrance. He levered himself to his hands and knees and pushed backwards, impaling himself on the first few inches. He winced at the sudden stab of pain.  
  
Gil held himself motionless. His hand gently stroked Greg's thighs, butt, and lower back, coaxing the younger man to relax the tense muscles. "Easy Greg. God, I didn't want to hurt you. You didn't have to do that"  
  
"I thought you were going to stop. I didn't want you to stop. And besides, it didn't hurt."  
  
"Liar. I know that hurt."  
  
Greg breathed in deeply, trying to become accustomed to the intense sensations. He felt himself slowly relaxing as Gil stroked him   
  
"Well it's better now, so let's keep going."  
  
Gil eased another few inches into Greg, pausing when he tensed again. "Are you okay?"  
  
Greg took a few deep breaths. "Yeah, it's okay. How much more?'  
  
Gil thrust once more, burying himself to the hilt in Greg's hot ass. "That's it, you've got it all."  
  
Greg could feel Gil's abdomen pressed tight up against his backside. He felt full. Gil began to make small circular movements with his hips, not thrusting yet, just grinding. He wrapped his arms around Greg's chest, pulling Greg back against him so that they were both kneeling upright. He began kissing the side of Greg's neck, his ear, and his cheek. Greg laid his head back on Gil's shoulder and turned his head towards him so Gil could reach his lips. As they kissed, Gil ran his hands over Greg's chest, teasing his nipples, stroking the flesh of his belly, his hips, and his thighs. Greg moaned into Gil's mouth as the questing hands found his rigid prick. Gil stroked him for a few moments, letting the pleasure build for both of them.   
  
Gil pushed Greg forward onto his hands again and began slowly thrusting. He gradually increased the tempo as Greg pushed back to meet each thrust. He let himself fall forward so that his chest was pressed into Greg's back. He ran his hands up and down Greg's sides as he thrust harder into him. Greg's legs began to tremble, then his knees gave out and he fell forward onto the bed. Gil continued to ride him, both of them getting closer and closer to climax. He suddenly stopped, and Greg felt empty as Gil pulled out of him.   
  
"No. No Gil, don't stop!"  
  
"Turn over, I want to see your face."  
  
Greg flipped over on his back and spread his thighs. Gil settled between them and quickly reentered him. But now he could look up into Gil's blue eyes as he was being ravished.  
  
"Oh, yes. This is much better."  
  
"Mmmm." Gil just moaned before bringing his mouth down hard on Greg's, thrusting his tongue into Greg's mouth with the same rhythm as his cock thrusting into his ass. He could feel Greg's hardness trapped between their bodies. He could also feel himself beginning to lose control, and he tried to slow down. But Greg wouldn't let him. He wrapped his legs around Gil's waist and urged him on.   
  
"Gil, don't hold back. Give me everything you've got."  
  
"But I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"You won't hurt me. I can take it. I want it." Greg looked into Gils eyes again. "Please, Gil, fuck me hard."  
  
At those words, Gil lost the last of his self-control. He felt something primal, almost savage, rise in him. His whole world shrank down to just himself and the warm, willing man writhing on the bed beneath him. His thrusts became harder, almost brutal, and he had one last small twinge of doubt, but Greg was crying out with joy at each thrust. Greg had his hands wrapped around Gil's biceps, bracing himself, his whole body rocking each time Gil plunged into him. Gil watched as Greg threw his head back and his body stiffened. His breath was coming in short sharp gasps the friction from Gil's abdomen had him right on the edge. And then he went over. Gil felt Greg's cock shudder and then he felt the warm liquid spurt between their bodies. Greg called out his name as he came.   
  
Hearing Greg call his name set Gil off. He emptied himself into his young lover. It seemed to him that he came forever inside of Greg. Finally, he collapsed on top of Greg gently kissing his shoulder, his neck and his face, before a slow gentle kiss on his lips.   
  
They lay together for a short time, just breathing and enjoying the afterglow. Gil got up and went into the bathroom. He came back with a warm cloth and began to gently cleanse Greg's chest and stomach. Greg had a huge smile on his face. He opened his eyes and grinned up at Gil with his dark brown eyes full of love.   
  
Gil saw that look and knew what it meant. He smiled back, but the smile did not touch his eyes.  
  
Greg's grin slowly faded as he realized that he had been right. Gil didn't, or couldn't return his feelings. He felt his eyes fill with tears and struggled mightily to not let them fall.  
  
"Greg, I'm sorry. We agreed. Just one day."  
  
Greg closed his eyes as the tears spilled over. "I know. But I thought you might change your mind."  
  
"Oh Greg..." Gil reached out a hand to wipe the tears away, but they kept falling. He felt old again, and inadequate. He didn't know why he could not except what this extraordinary young man was offering. There must be some deficiency in his character that wouldn't allow him to be happy. He wrapped his arms around Greg and cradled him against his chest. "I'm so sorry," he whispered into Greg's hair. Greg continued to cry quietly.  
  
"Gil..."  
  
"Hush now, just go to sleep Greg."  
  
"I don't want to sleep. When I fall asleep, you'll leave." He tried to stay awake. But he had been through too many emotional upheavals that day and he was drained. Gil held him until he felt his breathing deepen in sleep  
  
He gently eased his arm from under Greg's body and got up. He dressed quietly, watching Greg the whole time, the mid morning sun coming through the blinds making patterns on Greg's sleeping form. Then he sighed. He locked his heart up again and left, softly closing the door behind him.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Greg woke hours later, alone. He thought back to that mornings activities and briefly wondered if it had been a dream. But as he moved to get out of bed, his protesting muscles and sore bottom told him it had been real. He was disappointed and depressed that the best sexual encounter of his life was destined to be only a one-night stand.   
  
He showered and dressed for work. He wasn't sure how he would be able to work with Gil after all this, but he was going to try. He searched his heart and he knew that his feeling s of love for Gil were real. He still hoped that Gil would change his mind, that he would at least give them a chance at a real relationship. He could wait and continue to hope. And if Gil never changed his mind, he knew that getting over Gil would be the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life.   
  
As he went out into the kitchen he found the letter that Gil had left for him.  
  
  
 _Greg,  
  
I'm sorry that I can't be what you want me to be, your lover, friend, and confidant. I've never been able to be that for anyone. Things have happened in my life and I find it very difficult to let people get close. And it's too late to change now. Despite what you think, I AM too old for you. Today, making love to you was beautiful and I will cherish the memory. But it can't happen again. This can't work, and we'll just tear each other apart.   
  
I'm sorry,  
Gil  
  
  
_  
  
 **  
**


End file.
